Spirituality of DFTBA: Surround yourself with Awesome

For Lent this year, I'm trying to make DFTBA (Don't Forget To Be Awesome) my spiritual discipline. Inspired by the Vlogbrothers and Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, I'm considering what DFTBA looks like for me and for my two-year-old daughter, Esther.

So far my Lenten discipline has included:
1. Remember you're awesome.
2. So is everybody else.

3. Girls are awesome.
4. But don't get ahead of yourself: Humility


Surround yourself with awesome
Let's just say that lately, life has been less than awesome. I'm in the middle of a divorce, I'm unemployed, and I live very far from the majority of my friends. (I do live near family, who are awesome, and my bestie from High School who you met HERE, and who is also awesome.) That's one of the reasons I chose DFTBA to be my Lenten spiritual discipline. I need to try to at least approach awesome if I'm going to get the job I want, survive this divorce, and still be a good mom.

Last week I had the amazing opportunity to spend some time with my girlfriends from seminary.  We are from all over the country, in our mid-thirties, in various stages of family life, and in a wide variety of jobs (in spite of all having gone to school together!). Those who can make it gather annually in a city near one of our homes. We spend the time in food, drink, and usually some nice scenery. But most importantly, we immerse ourselves in each other.  You see, these ladies are awesome. And being around them makes me feel more awesome. They don't hesitate to remind me of my gifts, or tease me (appropriately) about my shortcomings. When we hurt each other's feelings, we discuss, forgive, and move on.  We talked about my job situation (or lack thereof), my family situation, and each of theirs. They reminded me how much I love leading worship and how much I love my little girl, while mixing delicious margaritas, introducing me to kale, making me a mixed tape (ok, CD), and fighting over the last bite of guacamole with me.

My friends from seminary are awesome (and I have an equally awesome group from undergrad). And I tell youth whenever I get the chance: choose your friends wisely. Pick people who have the same values, who will remind you of who you are, but who are different enough from you to challenge your way of thinking every now and then. If your friends don't make you feel more awesome, they're not friends.

How is this the spirituality of DFTBA? The people with whom we spend our time, the people who light up our phones, our facebook newsfeeds, who occupy the space in our brains and our hearts, also influence our spirits. When we're surrounded by negativity, it's hard to see Awesome. When we're surrounded by superficiality, it's hard to see the Image of God within ourselves.  When we're surrounded by voices that make us insecure, we begin to focus on ourselves so much that we forget the awesomeness of everyone else.  On the other hand, awesome friends reflect that divine image back at us, sometimes when it's hardest for us to see.  Awesome friends give us the gift of genuine laughter, but let us cry when we need to as well. Awesome friends celebrate our awesomeness instead of competing with it or downplaying it. Awesome friends help us look out into the world and spread Awesome to our neighbors.

Practical tips for Surrounding yourself with Awesome:

• Take some time to think sincerely about the people with whom you spend time. Do they share awesome with you? Do they increase your awesome?
• If you're in a bad place with any of your friends, consider how you might reconcile with them in a constructive way, a way that might help the relationship come closer to awesome.
• Consider where you make friends and where you might make new ones who could surround you with awesome. A place of worship? A class? At work?

Prayer:
Loving God, you gave us the gift of community-- people to love us and care for us, people we can love and for whom we can care. Thank you. Bless our friendships, and help us to surround one another with awesome.
Amen.

Spirituality of DFTBA 2: So is Everybody Else

For Lent this year, I'm trying to make DFTBA (Don't Forget To Be Awesome) my spiritual discipline. Inspired by the Vlogbrothers and Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, I'm considering what DFTBA looks like for me and for my two-year-old daughter, Esther.

In the Spirituality of DFTBA 1, I talked about how God (or a miraculously minute statistical probability of existence) makes you awesome. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are created in God's image, you are supremely good. Don't forget-- you ARE awesome!

Here's the catch: so is everybody else.

I know, I know, if everyone is awesome, doesn't that mean that nobody's awesome? No. Because awesome means "awe-inspiring." It doesn't just mean "cool." And let's be honest, everyone is not cool. Thank God. But everyone is that statistical improbability, everyone is designed uniquely in the image of the divine, and everyone's existence should inspire our awe. Everyone is awesome.


This belief, if we truly internalize it, has far-reaching consequences. On one level, it could easily influence our immediate relationships. There's a good chance we already think the people we love and adore are pretty awesome. It's part of why we adore them. But we often take them for granted and forget their awesomeness. I'm thinking especially of family and sig-oths. Living with someone and spending time with them day-in and day-out sometimes allows us to overlook the awesome and focus on the annoying. What if we remembered their awesomeness more often? What if we told them about their awesomeness on a regular basis?

Right now, I live with Esther and my mom. I am still stunned and amazed by Esther's awesome on a regular basis-- when I remember she used to be just a blob in my uterus, and now she's speaking in (short) sentences and and asking me to snuggle... I tell Esther on a regular basis how amazing I think she is. My hope is that she'll grow up and believe it. But I don't say much to my mom. I tell her "thank you" for the stuff she does to help me (which is a lot, by the way), and I am grateful for her presence and influence in my life. But I often forget to think of her as awesome. She is awesome, of course-- she's smart and funny and creative and one in a bazillion, and she loves me and Esther fiercely. Unfortunately, I think I take that for granted as we live together. I'm sorry, Mom! You are awesome!


Other relationships like co-workers or friends could also be improved by an attitude of DFTBA. I had a co-worker who was so chatty that I was afraid to step into her office if I was in any kind of a hurry. Her story-telling used to drive me nuts until I realized she wanted to over-inform for fear of under-informing me. It changed my perspective, helping me to realize she was being awesome by going above and beyond in trying to help me. I still had to carefully time my visits, but I also knew to say, "that's just what I needed," as a way to end the conversation and thank her for her help. Reminding ourselves of our co-worker's (sister's/friend's/teacher's) awesome won't make his or her annoying go away, but it changes our attitudes toward him or her.

Even the people we encounter in a nominal way on a daily basis are awesome. The cashier at Target, the librarian, the next door neighbor, the bus driver... they're all created awesome in the image of the divine. This is India Arie's description of seeing everyone as awesome.


The next entry will be about even-farther-reaching possibilities that come from remembering that everyone is awesome.

Concrete tasks for remembering everyone is awesome:

• Give someone a genuine compliment every day. It will make you come up with a reason you think they're awesome, but it will also pass on the awesome.
• When you pray, give thanks for someone.
• Listen to the India Arie song above while you're on your commute. Look at the people around you and remember that they're awesome.

Prayer:
God, thank you for making me awesome. And thank you for the awe-inspiring people in my life. Thank you for ___________________, who showed me awesomeness today. Help me to see you in the faces of your people with whom I interact. Amen.

Trip to Philly

Esther and I went into Philly last week for V-Day.  One Billion Rising was V-Day/The Vagina Monologues' huge worldwide movement. One of my best friends helped plan OBR, so I just HAD to go.

For the sake of adventure, and also to avoid all the drama of parking in the city, Esther and I took the train. She's a fan of Thomas & Friends, so riding the choo-choo was very exciting.

Yeah... she looks excited, doesn't she?






OBR took place at Love Park, home of the famous LOVE statue.  It was the first time I'd seen the statue, and I have to tell you, it was smaller than I expected. Of course, we still took a picture!

It's in a historical and touristy part of town, right next to the Visitors' Center and City Hall. The City Hall has an archway underneath with four sculpted columns. Each column is decorated with a cluster of people holding up the ceiling at the top... they look like four stereotyped races of people. I can't decide if it looks more like historical racism or a symbol of inclusiveness, but I think it's some odd old-fashioned well-meant combination of the two. At the top of the arches between the columns were four animals, a bull, a lion, an elephant, and some other strange cat/wolf-like animal that Esther decided was a pig. She kept pointing at this thing, which truly looked like a werewolf, and saying, "Oink, oink!"

Across the street is the Mason's Temple. I kept thinking of Dan Brown and Nicholas Cage.

As we walked around the block, we came across Macy's. Macy's isn't so exciting, but it used to be Lord & Taylor, and before that, Wannamaker's. Wannamaker's was a huge department store, nine stories of retail in the middle of the city.

It's also where my great-grandmother Esther worked. She was a seamstress and dress-maker in the ladies' department. She took the train from Frazer, her family's farm, into Suburban Station. The art deco station is right around the corner, and the arrival point for many folks from the suburbs who came into Philly to work.

Esther and I went into Macy's to get a glimpse of the place where Grandmom Esther used to work. It was another place I'd never seen in Philly. It's famous, historic, and connected with my family... I'm not sure why I never went before!

Wannamaker's was in the movie Mannequin, a 1980s classic starring Kim Cattrall before she became Samantha Jones. It has this giant eagle sculpture which is also a landmark. There's an expression, "Meet me at the Eagle," which was a catchphrase in advertising in addition to being a useful way to find a friend when both are done shopping.

Mr. Wannamaker wanted his store to be in itself an adventure and a landmark and an experience. The pipe organ that Mr. Wannamaker built is the largest operational organ in existence.  It had a restaurant and fantastic tile and marble architectural features. He had President Taft dedicated the re-build, and there's a marker on the floor where he stood. Macy's has redone a lot of the walls (something about taxes and square-footage), but there are still some pretty cool historical features and fixtures. Macy's only uses three stories of Wannamaker's nine. The rest were sold as office space. It's likely that Grandmom's work space was on a higher story, and has been remodeled.

Some friends I hadn't seen in a long time met us in the city and we enjoyed a delicious dinner. Esther was a bit out of sorts after the long day, but calmed down a bit after one of those friends took her for a quick walk around the block in her stroller.

We caught the train from Suburban Station and headed home, where Esther passed out in the car just moments after pulling away.

First real haircut

My BFF from high school cuts hair, so of course I go to her for myself and for Esther's hair. Tina is the best and we always have fun when I go in there.

Esther has been getting her bangs cut since she was nine months old, when her hair first started getting into her eyes a lot. Sometimes I have been the stylist, but Tina has been the primary trimmer.

E's hair has gotten kind of stringy and tangly, probably time for a trim. So I finally took her in to Salon DeSante for her first real haircut.

She looks so small in the chair!

Tina is trying to tell her how cool the cape is. Look! Bears! (Esther rejected the cape. After E's cut, I had a bit of a trim and wore the cape. When we got in the car, E tried to pull her blanket up over her shoulders like the cape.)

The amazing Tina hard at work on a very wiggly client!

Finished product!