Spirituality of DFTBA 3: So is Everybody Else, continued

For Lent this year, I'm trying to make DFTBA (Don't Forget To Be Awesome) my spiritual discipline. Inspired by the Vlogbrothers and Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, I'm considering what DFTBA looks like for me and for my two-year-old daughter, Esther.

So far my Lenten discipline has included:
1. Remember you're awesome.
2. So is everybody else.

Spirituality of DFTBA 3: So is Everybody Else, continued

Knowing that everybody else is awesome has lots of implications, some of which I discussed the other day. I mostly talked about people with whom we interact, like family, friends, and even casual acquaintances.

But what about everybody else? I mean, the people who live far far away and with whom you could never interact. I mean, the people nearby with whom you can't interact because they can't afford to go to the same coffee shop/ bookstore/ grocery store/ movie theater/ bar/ concert venue... that you do.

Knowing that EVERYBODY is awesome means thinking about the rest of the world. It especially means thinking about the people who aren't generally thought of as awesome. If we truly believe that God created all of these people supremely good, then even the people the rest of the world shuns, are awesome. Poor people, gay people, people of different races and religions, they are all awesome.

There are lots of ways to learn about everyone's awesome. I personally love a novel or memoir to learn about other cultures and experiences. (Reading Three Cups of Tea and Reading Lolita in Tehran gave me a new perspective on Middle East politics.) Documentaries are another option.  And of course there's the web. You have a question about Islam/ LDS/ Presbyterianism/ Buddhism/ Hindu/ Catholicism? Look it up.

If all people are awesome, then all people should have the same basic rights and opportunities. Jesus said this when he said, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." If we would fight for our own rights and opportunities when they've been denied, we should fight for those rights and opportunities for our awesome neighbors.

The Vlogbrothers call this decreasing world suck. In other words, if the world sucks, it's because someone isn't being treated as awesomely as they deserve. There are lots of ways to decrease world suck, and they're all pretty awesome.  Nerdfighters, the online community created by the Vlogbrothers, have created all kinds of opportunities to decrease world suck, even creating a foundation for that very purpose.

Recently Esther and I went into Philly to participate in One Billion Rising, a demonstration protesting violence against women. It was a small step in acknowledging the awesomeness of everyone, in this case, the one billion women in the world who are victims of violence.


DFTBA 3: Concrete tasks

• Read a memoir written by someone from another culture.
• Watch a documentary on poverty.
• Consider a right or opportunity you have or had, that others don't. Give thanks.
• Consider a right or opportunity you have or had about which you feel passionate. Google organizations that help provide that right or opportunity for others.

Prayer
Creator who made us all awesome, clear our minds of misgivings about others and help us to see your face in all people, that we may decrease world suck. Amen.

Spirituality of DFTBA 2: So is Everybody Else

For Lent this year, I'm trying to make DFTBA (Don't Forget To Be Awesome) my spiritual discipline. Inspired by the Vlogbrothers and Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, I'm considering what DFTBA looks like for me and for my two-year-old daughter, Esther.

In the Spirituality of DFTBA 1, I talked about how God (or a miraculously minute statistical probability of existence) makes you awesome. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are created in God's image, you are supremely good. Don't forget-- you ARE awesome!

Here's the catch: so is everybody else.

I know, I know, if everyone is awesome, doesn't that mean that nobody's awesome? No. Because awesome means "awe-inspiring." It doesn't just mean "cool." And let's be honest, everyone is not cool. Thank God. But everyone is that statistical improbability, everyone is designed uniquely in the image of the divine, and everyone's existence should inspire our awe. Everyone is awesome.


This belief, if we truly internalize it, has far-reaching consequences. On one level, it could easily influence our immediate relationships. There's a good chance we already think the people we love and adore are pretty awesome. It's part of why we adore them. But we often take them for granted and forget their awesomeness. I'm thinking especially of family and sig-oths. Living with someone and spending time with them day-in and day-out sometimes allows us to overlook the awesome and focus on the annoying. What if we remembered their awesomeness more often? What if we told them about their awesomeness on a regular basis?

Right now, I live with Esther and my mom. I am still stunned and amazed by Esther's awesome on a regular basis-- when I remember she used to be just a blob in my uterus, and now she's speaking in (short) sentences and and asking me to snuggle... I tell Esther on a regular basis how amazing I think she is. My hope is that she'll grow up and believe it. But I don't say much to my mom. I tell her "thank you" for the stuff she does to help me (which is a lot, by the way), and I am grateful for her presence and influence in my life. But I often forget to think of her as awesome. She is awesome, of course-- she's smart and funny and creative and one in a bazillion, and she loves me and Esther fiercely. Unfortunately, I think I take that for granted as we live together. I'm sorry, Mom! You are awesome!


Other relationships like co-workers or friends could also be improved by an attitude of DFTBA. I had a co-worker who was so chatty that I was afraid to step into her office if I was in any kind of a hurry. Her story-telling used to drive me nuts until I realized she wanted to over-inform for fear of under-informing me. It changed my perspective, helping me to realize she was being awesome by going above and beyond in trying to help me. I still had to carefully time my visits, but I also knew to say, "that's just what I needed," as a way to end the conversation and thank her for her help. Reminding ourselves of our co-worker's (sister's/friend's/teacher's) awesome won't make his or her annoying go away, but it changes our attitudes toward him or her.

Even the people we encounter in a nominal way on a daily basis are awesome. The cashier at Target, the librarian, the next door neighbor, the bus driver... they're all created awesome in the image of the divine. This is India Arie's description of seeing everyone as awesome.


The next entry will be about even-farther-reaching possibilities that come from remembering that everyone is awesome.

Concrete tasks for remembering everyone is awesome:

• Give someone a genuine compliment every day. It will make you come up with a reason you think they're awesome, but it will also pass on the awesome.
• When you pray, give thanks for someone.
• Listen to the India Arie song above while you're on your commute. Look at the people around you and remember that they're awesome.

Prayer:
God, thank you for making me awesome. And thank you for the awe-inspiring people in my life. Thank you for ___________________, who showed me awesomeness today. Help me to see you in the faces of your people with whom I interact. Amen.

The Spirituality of DFTBA 1: You're Created Awesome

(First I want to say that I'm a Presbyterian minister, so I'm coming at this spirituality from a Christian perspective. That said, it's a pretty progressive Christian perspective, and I don't consider it THE answer to the spirituality of DFTBA, just A perspective, and for that matter, MY perspective. Feel free to argue or agree as you so choose, I don't believe you're going to hell b/c we disagree.)

The newest scholarly translation of scripture (the CEB) translates the creation story in the first chapter of Genesis to say that after God created humanity, God pronounced us "supremely good."

Also within that story, scripture tells us that humanity was created in God's image.

I believe that being made "supremely good," in the image of a divine being is pretty awesome.

Here's a more scientific understanding. What are the chances that all the atoms, all the molecules, all the cells and hormones and whatever else it took to get you conceived and then born, were in the right place at the right time to make YOU? Not good. You are one in a bazillion (see how scientific I am?). That is awesome.

So the first part of the spirituality of DFTBA is: You are AWESOME!

Another way to put it might be, "You are awesome." Much of advertising media out there is designed to make us think we're not awesome... we need to buy these products, look like these models, be athletic like these people, drive these cars, acquire these dollars, all to become awesome. Realizing we're already awesome, without the car or the cash or the crap, is freeing. Knowing we're already awesome allows us to focus on other things that are awesome instead of the stuff that we think could make us awesome. Because we know it can't. Because we already are.

It's hard to get this concept through our thick skulls sometimes, and that's understandable, because we've been told from the moment we could be told, that we're less than awesome. Sometimes the voices are the media's, sometimes they're from our parents and teachers, and sometimes they're even our own. So how to make ourselves believe it? I've heard this stuff about being made in God's image for years now, and it only makes a little dent in all the self-doubt that still pounds away at me. A few ideas...

• Put something precious in your pocket. Maybe a piece of family jewelry, or a beautiful stone or shell that you found out in creation... maybe a note someone wrote that told you how great you are, maybe that scripture passage, whatever. Whenever you're feeling the non-awesome creep in, put one hand in your pocket, and let the other hand give a peace sign (Alanis) to the negativity.
• Tell someone else they're awesome. it will make them feel good, and will make you feel better.
• Do something awesome.  A small act of kindness will boost someone else, but it will boost you, too.
• Mute the commercials. It's bad enough having to watch, but then they tell you why you're not that awesome. And commercials are too loud, anyway.

Part of this DFTBA practice during Lent is about helping my two-year-old daughter Esther know she is awesome, too. My plan for her:

• Every night when I tuck her in, I tell her she is loved and I tell her she is awesome/amazing/beautiful, etc.
• Every night when I re-tuck her in, when she is already asleep and I am going to bed, I tell her the same stuff in hopes she hears it subliminally.
• I read her stories with awesome female characters. This is one way I can control the images from the media that she is seeing.
• I sing songs about God and use "she" and "her" as the gender pronoun, along with "he" and "his."
• Snuggle her, hug her, kiss her, and tell her she's awesome whenever I want. 
• When we say grace at dinner, I thank God for her, in front of her.

A prayer:
God, thank you for making me awesome. Help me to believe it, live it, and not forget it.
Amen.


People of other faith traditions, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

For Lent: DFTBA

My friend Hank and his brother John are famous. You may know them as the Vlogbrothers. This is their YouTube channel. One of their common themes is, "Don't Forget To Be Awesome," or DFTBA.

Also, here's a blog called Pigtail Pals, Ballcap Buddies. It's all about breaking down gender stereotypes for kids. Esther is 2, and even now, the bathing suits in her size are ruched to look like there are breasts. The toy options for kids are pink/purple or blue/black/red. This blog says that "colors are for everybody," and that kids are "full of awesome."

Finally, it's Lent. I'm a minister, albeit unemployed at the moment, and I have been struggling to come up with  some kind of Lenten discipline to take on. So when I saw this video, in which President Obama talks about his daughters and reminds John to tell his unborn child not to forget to be awesome, I thought, "Yes!" I will try to be full of awesome for Lent. I will try not to forget to be awesome as a spiritual discipline. And I will work on helping Esther know she is awesome, too.

Stay tuned for:
- the spirituality of DFTBA
- ways I can RTBA (remember to be awesome) on a regular basis
- ways I do/can help Esther know she is awesome now, and as she gets older
- the princess debate: are princesses awesome?