Enjoying the Cape

Esther and her cousin played with the super-hero capes the other day.  They ran down the hall, capes flying out behind them, and cracking up when they almost ran into each other.

I wish the pics weren't so blurry, but you know, faster than a speeding bullet and all.

Aquarium-inspired Craft

I have been thinking about an ocean-inspired flannel board for a while now, ever since we did the felt Christmas tree with felt decorations.

After our trip to the aquarium, Esther's enthusiasm for fishies grew, and I was motivated to get back on track with this project. Here's the big picture:

And a zoom-in...

And another...

For this project, I grabbed one or two of each of the solid colors of felt at JoAnn's. They were having a 4-for-$1 sale, good deal! Then I grabbed a bunch of colored Sharpies and drew shapes, mostly with dots.  There are a few solid lines, but very few. You can see the faux-pointillism in the pic above, with a textured starfish and randomly-shaped reef.

Aquarium Trip

A while back, we went to the Baltimore Aquarium with family friends.  Esther loves fish, and raved for days about the "silly dolphins" who splashed us and gave us "mess hair" during the dolphin show.

This inspired me to get to work on a project I had been thinking about for a while... you'll see it tomorrow. For now, just a few pics from the day.

This is Gram, family friend, Esther, and FF's special teddy bear. This was the outside-under of the dolphin tank.

This is Esther busily adoring some turtles. We watch "A Turtle's Tale: Sammy's Adventure" quite frequently on Netflix, a cute eco-friendly, kid-friendly, not-particulalry-girl-friendly movie that Esther enjoys.  She kept calling the turtles Sammy and Shelly, the main characters of the movie.

Gram took this on her phone. You can see we've been splashed by the silly dolphins. Here's my fearless girl petting some kind of hissing cockroach. It wasn't hissing at the moment, but that dude was huge.  And a cockroach. And she was all ready to pick it up and bring it home or something.

Super Esther!

I bought Esther a PJ shirt at le Target that has a cape velcroed to it at the shoulders. She called it her SuperWhy* shirt, and would wave the cape around. She always wants to be carried up and down the stairs, but I said, "SuperEsther can do it herself!" And she did! She ran up the stairs like the super-toddler she is.

She got to where she asked for it every night, and since I don't do laundry every single day, it was not always available. So I came up with these.

These are "capes" that I made from some of her too-small dresses.  I just cut out the neck in the back, and kept cutting in two diagonal lines from there to the bottom of the front, like a big triangle. These are dresses that have some kind of button closure around the neck so that the capes can come on and off, but I suppose you could just use any ole neck-band and just pull it over your kid's head, as long as their bigger-kid noggins still fit through the too-small clothes.

I'm trying to think of the super-hero names that might go with these...




*Super Why is a TV show on PBS/Sprout where these kids have reading/spelling/alphabet/rhyming superpowers. Reading as a super power? I am so on board!

The Weeks Without Esther

Every month, Esther goes to see her dad for a week. It involves a lot of travel (which costs a lot of money), but for a million or so reasons, it's what we do.
These weeks totally make me understand the Elizabeth Stone quote:

image from http://www.projectsweetpeas.com/

When my heart has traveled to a different time zone in a far-away state, my soul feels instantly deflated, darker, and less whole. I am grumpier, more tired, more sarcastic, and my sleep cycle becomes (even more of) a mess.

On the other hand, in the week before Esther goes away, I remember that she'll be gone soon, so I try to soak her in and snuggle her more.  And in the week when she gets back, I am so relieved and joyful that my heart has returned, that I revel in her presence.  (Of course, I still have to tell her to stop banging her spoon on the table, and I still have to remind her to use her words, but, I get to tell her to stop banging her spoon on the table! She's here, and she has words she can use!) In the week she's away, I think I'll be glad to sleep through the night without the weird noises from her monitor, or her crying out in the night or talking in her sleep.  But really, I miss the buzzing and the little mumbles. 

The darkness? depression? of her departure each month make it hard to do what I promised I would do: make time to take care of myself. You would think I could be more productive without my two-year-old around, but it's not true. I sleep. I zone out into my computer. I don't even sew/craft/knit more when she's gone.

I know this needs a change in attitude, a change in perspective.  I imagine that if I am intentional about doing things for me in this week, then maybe I'll begin to be a bit more ok with it. Maybe someday I'll appreciate the time, but I'm not there yet. 

Fuzzy blankie

One of Esther's fave blankies was given to her by one of my besties when she was just a few weeks old.  It's super-soft and super-cute, but Esther is getting way too long/tall for it.  So I decided I'd make one basically just like it: super soft on one side and pretty fabric on the other.

Esther's also into polka dots: she calls them bubbles.  The teal fabric was also from the remnant bin at JoAnn's.  The fuzzy stuff is slippery and stretchy, making it a little bit hard to work with.  But it's also wonderfully soft, and I spent the whole time petting it.  Luckily, I had enough left over to make myself a tiny throw pillow for my bed.

Lacing Toy

Esther has shown an interest in tying my shoes lately.  Or maybe I should say, untying.  She really likes pulling the laces out of my sneakers entirely.

She also likes trying to tie things.  Here she is with my uncle after she untied his shoes...

So instead of having to re-lace my sneakers every other day, I decided to make Esther a lacing toy.  You've seen them: they're plastic shapes with holes around the edges and they come with shoelaces...

I found some laces in the clearance section of the shoe department at Target, but everything else was stuff I had on hand.

As the mother of a toddler, I have a few diaper boxes laying around.  They're good cardboard!

I have a few old coffee table books that have some great pictures but don't really serve much purpose in my life right now. I've been contemplating ways to upcycle them or their pics...

I tore out two pics and mod-podged (is that a verb?) them to the cardboard. I cut out shapes with a utility knife.

 

Then I used a hole punch to... punch holes (duh) around the edges of the pic.  BONUS: Esther learns about Van Gogh at a young age! 

I finally finished with varnish.  I deliberately painted it thickly on the edges and in the holes, and I applied three or four coats, front and back.

The finished product with laces!

This whole task made me realize that I will someday have to teach Esther how to tie her shoes.  That sounds like a really hard parenting challenge. Props to all you parents whose kids know how to tie shoes!

New favorite nightgown

 I mentioned I'd started sewing... it started with a quilt for my niece, which was supposed to be a day-of-birth present, but which ended up being a first birthday present! In between, I took a sewing class in which I re-learned how to use a machine.
For the class, we were taught how to make a reversible child's dress. It was fun and I learned a lot, but more importantly, it whet my appetite for sewing!

Since my first quilt, this is probably one of my favorite projects. It's a really easy pattern that involves a piece of elastic around the neck.  It's how you finish the top of the front, back, and sleeves, making it super easy to complete.  (The pattern calls for elastic in the arms, too, but I like them fluttery... and it's easier this way.)

The fabric is a cotton knit that I pulled out of the remnant bin at JoAnn's. It's lucky that Esther is still small, because the remnant bin is half off, and the pieces are all less than a yard! I had to work with stripes for the first time, which I found to be helpful-- I'm not always so great at sewing a straight line! The knit of the fabric meant I didn't have to hem the bottom ruffle, either.  Jersey rolls up with just a little tug, making it looked finished-ish enough.

Esther likes this one because it's comfy.  It's her first nightgown. Sometimes when I check in on her at night, it is tangled up around her chest (she is a shifty sleeper!), but I tug it down and she doesn't seem to notice.

Here it is in person, one night while Esther was doing my hair before bed:

Here's the pattern: Simplicity 5695

Things I never thought I'd say

1. That's enough broccoli.

2. Please take the marker out of your nose.

3. Please put your poop down.

Free knitting patterns: knitted easter egg decoration

I'm getting ready for Easter... pictures to come!


Free knitting patterns: knitted easter egg decoration:

'via Blog this'

To know or not to know?

Lots of friends have had babies, some knowing what they were going to have, and others opting for a surprise on the big day. People have all kinds of reasons, from looking forward to the big reveal, to being able to prepare in advance.

I had mixed feelings: on one hand, what does it matter? We would love any baby no matter what gender he or she may be. We had a girl and boy name (both family names) picked out, so that would be easy either way. It's not like I was going to paint a nursery pink or blue. I mean, we all know how I feel about that by now, right?  Even if I didn't have a strong opinion, Esther's dad did.  He wanted to know, so I was fine with finding out.

On the day of the 20-week ultrasound, we were excited. After a bit of time in the waiting room, the ultrasound tech came and got us, and I got onto the table.  The tech checked the head, heart, lungs, brain, arms, legs, and finally,the genitalia. The baby was (appropriately) in the fetal position, so it was covering up the unmentionables pretty well. Eventually, though, after a few passes from a few different angles, the tech concluded we were having a girl.

I was not surprised in the least. I felt like my soul had known she was a girl the whole time.  But suddenly I realized she was Esther. She was no longer an "it," but a "she," and not just any "she," but Esther Grace. I thought of my great grandmother and my mom and was overwhelmed with love for my girl Esther.

A gross and a funny

Esther is potty training right now. She just started with the 2-year-old class and thinks all those kids are super cool, so she wants to use the potty just like they do. The other night Esther was in the tub when she realized she had to "pee pee potty," so I ran over and grabbed her and stuck her on the potty, not quite realizing she had already started peeing en route. Luckily she didn't get me, but I had to wash the bathroom rug.

And the funny: Esther's vocabulary is expanding rapidly at this point and it's pretty hilarious to see which terms from that vocabulary she applies to a given situation.  The other day we were at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and E was snuggling with Grandpa. She reached up to stroke his chin, felt his two-day stubble, looked up at him and said, "Mess!"

DFTBA: Girls are Awesome!

For Lent this year, I'm trying to make DFTBA (Don't Forget To Be Awesome) my spiritual discipline. Inspired by the Vlogbrothers and Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, I'm considering what DFTBA looks like for me and for my two-year-old daughter, Esther.


So far my Lenten discipline has included:
1. Remember you're awesome.
2. So is everybody else

Spirituality of DFTBA 4: Girls Are Awesome!
This post reminded me that Japan has a cool/fun tradition of having Girls' Day every year. It's a day to celebrate the girls in our lives, to fuss over them and celebrate that they ARE girls.  I don't know much about the background of the holiday, but it sounds like fun.

Especially after episodes in which women are derided and nine-year-old Oscar nominees are insulted in front of large national audiences. Yeah, Seth McFarlane, that was pretty awful.

So in honor of Girls' Day, and to spite Seth, I'm here to remind us all that GIRLS ARE AWESOME!

First off, God made both males and females. Both were created in God's image. The Bible doesn't say, God created the one with the penis in God's image, but the one with the uterus was just a knock-off.  No, it says, So God created humankind in his image,

   in the image of God he created them;   male and female he created them.

And the fact that scripture calls God "He" doesn't mean God is a boy. It means our (ancient and modern) grammar systems are too limited to come up with a singular personal pronoun that is gender-neutral.
The second description of God's creation* of men and women, the rib-from-Adam's-side thing, is equally silly non-proof that men are in any way superior to women. First, "Adam" comes from the Hebrew, adamah, which means something more like dirt-thing or mud-person or earthling than, humanoid-with-a-penis. And even if women were specifically created second, we all know the 2.0 version is better than the trial model anyway.** (Though this is not generally true with movie sequels!)

That said, for a long time, society, including and sometimes especially the church, have been telling women and girls that they are not awesome, that they are inferior biologically, intellectually, emotionally, and even spiritually. This is categorically UNTRUE.

I would like to say we're smarter than that these days, and many of us are, but there are still examples in contemporary progressive societies, let alone in more traditional cultures, of  misogyny, paternalism, sexism, chauvinism... Whatever you choose to call it, it's there.

I grew up being told that, "Anything boys can do, girls can do better!" I know this is kind of reverse-sexism, but I needed to hear it: I was at my great-grandmother's doctor appointment with her and my mom, and I guess we were talking about how the doc was making Grandom feel better, because I told my mom that when "I grow up to be a man, I'm going to be a doctor!" I'm sure she told me it was pretty unlikely that I would grow up to be a man, but she also assured me that I could be a doctor as a woman, too. (I'm obvi not a doctor, but I am a minister, also a traditionally-male field.)

I wish that the world had changed enough in the thirty-ish years since that incident that I didn't feel like I would have to spend Esther's life telling her the same thing. Alas, I fear this is not the case.

Reel Girl is a blog dedicated to the equal portrayal of women and girls in films, especially in children's movies/media. The author has found a consistent ration of about 1:5 of female to male characters in children's media. Oh, and an odd note: there are basically NO female characters on cereal boxes.

My mom, a teacher and the director of a preschool & daycare for over twenty years, said that kids are picking gender-traditional toys more than ever in the last few years. As in, "I'm not playing with that, that's for girls!" Or the reverse.  Toys are SO gender-marketed these days, that even a casual glance in a toy store shows you where to shop depending on the genitalia of your toddler.

Pigtail Pals/Ball cap Buddies is a blog that tries to fight those gender role assignments for kids.  There's no reason why a boy can't like purple or a girl can't like trucks.  One of their logos is "Colors are for everyone," fighting the belief that girls should limit themselves to pink, purple, and sparkles, while boys get just about all the other colors, and especially not pink, purple, or sparkles. They talk about all kids being, "Full of Awesome" and encourage kids to think outside of the box.

That said, there's nothing wrong with pink, purple, OR sparkles.  I'm a fan of all three myself. But they're not the only colors I like, and I would hate to think I could never wear blue again because it's a "boy color!" When we found out that Esther was a girl, I was terrified imagining the piles of pink we would receive. Again, this isn't because I dislike pink, but because I like the other colors, too! I want Esther to pick her favorite color because SHE likes it, not because she's been told (sub-consciously or by some little girl/boy in her preschool class someday) that she HAS TO like pink because it's a girl color.  (Of course, if she really does like pink, I will swallow my pride and bite my tongue.)

The same thing goes with the princess trend. Peggy Orenstein's book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter is all about the specific marketing that Disney and others (even Sesame Street!) have done to create this princess-crazy girl market.  I have nothing against the princesses (besides the fact they are generally a bunch of helpless women waiting around for some guy on a horse to ride them off into the sunset), but I do want Esther to be able to play with any toy and every toy she wants. Again, if her favorite thing ends up being tea parties with the princesses, I will swallow my pride and bite my tongue and sip invisible tea right next to her. But I will continue to take her to the zoo and point out trains tell her that girls can do anything they want.

Ok, so how does all this fit into the Spirituality of DFTBA?

• Ladies, remember you're awesome. You are more than your boobs, and idiots like Seth McF who suggest otherwise are just that: idiots. Men, women are awesome. They are more than boobs, and idiots like Seth McF who suggest otherwise are just that: idiots.
• Women, what are your assets that have nothing to do with your appearance? Congratulate yourself on those.
• Men, compliment a woman on something other than her appearance.
• Support causes that stand up for women, whether in media, education, or in laws about violence against women.

How do I do this for Esther?

• I encourage her to play with all kinds of toys.
• I watch as gender-balanced TV with her as I can. Doc McStuffins, a female doctor whose mom is her doctor-role-model is my current fave. 
• I never tell her "you can't do that, you're a girl." 
• I try to dress her in as many colors as the stores let me. (Hint to the stores: if you want me to buy an object, make it in a color other than pink! I get so excited to see anything outside of pink/purple, that I buy it whether I love it or not!)

Prayer:
God, thank you for men and women and for the ways we reflect your image. Help us to treat each other all as awesome, and help us to help others see the AWESOME in all of your children. Amen


* Yes, there are two creation stories.
** Yes, I believe in evolution. That doesn't mean the Creation stories are false, just that they have a deeper meaning than your average science text.

A sweater for Esther

I had three different colors of this cotton-ish yarn that I bought on sale from a local yarn shop a few months ago, and I've been wanting to make something with them for Esther.  I was worried about how long they were, so I added just a bit of the leftover pink from Esther's birthday sweater.

I found the pattern HERE.

It's a quick and easy knit because it uses fairly big needles.  The pattern's author did some color-work in the torso, but I just stuck with the stripes. Again, I was worried about how much yarn I had, and using two strands at once would use it up too quickly.

I ended up with mere inches of each color when I was done, so my caution paid off!

The left shoulder has a split in it. It allows room for it to slip over a kid's head. I added the blue button and made a loop out of a tiny crocheted chain from the pink yarn.

So far, I haven't been able to snap a picture of Esther wearing it.  She has vehemently protested putting it on.

The Spirituality of DFTBA 1: You're Created Awesome

(First I want to say that I'm a Presbyterian minister, so I'm coming at this spirituality from a Christian perspective. That said, it's a pretty progressive Christian perspective, and I don't consider it THE answer to the spirituality of DFTBA, just A perspective, and for that matter, MY perspective. Feel free to argue or agree as you so choose, I don't believe you're going to hell b/c we disagree.)

The newest scholarly translation of scripture (the CEB) translates the creation story in the first chapter of Genesis to say that after God created humanity, God pronounced us "supremely good."

Also within that story, scripture tells us that humanity was created in God's image.

I believe that being made "supremely good," in the image of a divine being is pretty awesome.

Here's a more scientific understanding. What are the chances that all the atoms, all the molecules, all the cells and hormones and whatever else it took to get you conceived and then born, were in the right place at the right time to make YOU? Not good. You are one in a bazillion (see how scientific I am?). That is awesome.

So the first part of the spirituality of DFTBA is: You are AWESOME!

Another way to put it might be, "You are awesome." Much of advertising media out there is designed to make us think we're not awesome... we need to buy these products, look like these models, be athletic like these people, drive these cars, acquire these dollars, all to become awesome. Realizing we're already awesome, without the car or the cash or the crap, is freeing. Knowing we're already awesome allows us to focus on other things that are awesome instead of the stuff that we think could make us awesome. Because we know it can't. Because we already are.

It's hard to get this concept through our thick skulls sometimes, and that's understandable, because we've been told from the moment we could be told, that we're less than awesome. Sometimes the voices are the media's, sometimes they're from our parents and teachers, and sometimes they're even our own. So how to make ourselves believe it? I've heard this stuff about being made in God's image for years now, and it only makes a little dent in all the self-doubt that still pounds away at me. A few ideas...

• Put something precious in your pocket. Maybe a piece of family jewelry, or a beautiful stone or shell that you found out in creation... maybe a note someone wrote that told you how great you are, maybe that scripture passage, whatever. Whenever you're feeling the non-awesome creep in, put one hand in your pocket, and let the other hand give a peace sign (Alanis) to the negativity.
• Tell someone else they're awesome. it will make them feel good, and will make you feel better.
• Do something awesome.  A small act of kindness will boost someone else, but it will boost you, too.
• Mute the commercials. It's bad enough having to watch, but then they tell you why you're not that awesome. And commercials are too loud, anyway.

Part of this DFTBA practice during Lent is about helping my two-year-old daughter Esther know she is awesome, too. My plan for her:

• Every night when I tuck her in, I tell her she is loved and I tell her she is awesome/amazing/beautiful, etc.
• Every night when I re-tuck her in, when she is already asleep and I am going to bed, I tell her the same stuff in hopes she hears it subliminally.
• I read her stories with awesome female characters. This is one way I can control the images from the media that she is seeing.
• I sing songs about God and use "she" and "her" as the gender pronoun, along with "he" and "his."
• Snuggle her, hug her, kiss her, and tell her she's awesome whenever I want. 
• When we say grace at dinner, I thank God for her, in front of her.

A prayer:
God, thank you for making me awesome. Help me to believe it, live it, and not forget it.
Amen.


People of other faith traditions, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Another Grossness

E loves her some chapstick. She is fascinated watching me put it on and she calls it Mou. As in, mouth.
She found a stick the other day and got the cap off (darn it! When did she learn how to do that!?!) and started smearing all over her face. And her lips. And her tongue. Then, "Mommy, mou?" And I let her. And it was gross.

The Party: Wardrobe

I knitted a little sweater and sewed a little dress for E's big day.

The dress ended up too big, but short. Luckily I included lots of extra fabric in the hem, so I can let it out and the dress can grow with her a bit.

I found the fabric at JoAnn's, but didn't really have an idea for it till her birthday rolled around.

Here's the pattern. It claims to be "very easy," but I had to Google some words and look up some videos to make it happen. I used elastic for the first time, and made poufy sleeves for the first time. I'm kinda proud of it.

Here's the sweater.

And here's the preview post.

I used  this pattern, but modified it to be a cardigan.

My Uncle Paul, or as Esther calls him, Pau Pau, gave her and all the kids at the party Mylar balloons. Here she is, so excited to be playing with them back at the house. I love the excitement on her face!

The cap sleeves on the sweater were too small for the short sleeves on the dress, especially b/c the dress was too big. But it's still cute and she'll be able to wear it any time.

She saw me knitting it, and I told her I was making a jacket for her. So the day of the party, when it was finally finished, she kept saying, "Mommy, chackie!" It was almost like she was telling everybody I made it.  : )


A few shots of Esther "helping" me knit:

The Party: Cake

The most important part of any party is the food... at a birthday party, the cake is central!
I made a chocolate cake out of a box and made it in two nine inch round pans. I made golden butter icing and dyed half of it green. The white is between the two layers and on top, with the green on the outsides.

Pink M&Ms line the drum, with pretzel sticks as decoration, pretzel rods topped with marshmallows as the drumsticks. Totally from Pinterest.

Here's the cake in action!

Esther didn't exactly know how to blow out the candle.

So I helped.

And then she ate a drumstick.

She likes it!

Esther found her party activities! "Dum Dummy," she said, and went over to the monkeys.

 We talked about "rings on fingers" and she played with it a bit.

 She suddenly started pointing out the monkeys and said, "Book?" She looked worried. I told her the book was ok, they were just pictures. She went back to playing.

Didn't take long for her attention to go to the rings...

I think she likes it!!

First real haircut

My BFF from high school cuts hair, so of course I go to her for myself and for Esther's hair. Tina is the best and we always have fun when I go in there.

Esther has been getting her bangs cut since she was nine months old, when her hair first started getting into her eyes a lot. Sometimes I have been the stylist, but Tina has been the primary trimmer.

E's hair has gotten kind of stringy and tangly, probably time for a trim. So I finally took her in to Salon DeSante for her first real haircut.

She looks so small in the chair!

Tina is trying to tell her how cool the cape is. Look! Bears! (Esther rejected the cape. After E's cut, I had a bit of a trim and wore the cape. When we got in the car, E tried to pull her blanket up over her shoulders like the cape.)

The amazing Tina hard at work on a very wiggly client!

Finished product!